Here's a little something from ten years ago. Originally titled "Wowza Numbers", it has been specially adapted for the cookie mail.  [Note: I have reverted the title and contents to the original.]

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excerpt from WORTHLESS MATHEMATICS, Volume 1, Number 1 (Summer 1986)
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                 WOWZA NUMBERS

                   John Leo
   Hewlett-Packard Laboratories, Palo Alto, CA
                     and
              MIT, Cambridge, MA
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1. INTRODUCTION

Numbers have become too boring.  In order to add a little spice to
your everyday number, you can put some meaningless word in front of
it.  This paper is an attempt to capitalize on that idea.

2. DEFINITION

WOWZA NUMBER: A number with the word "wowza" in front of
it.  For example, 2 becomes wowza2.  Complex numbers can also
become wowza numbers.  For example, 3.62+4i becomes
wowza3.62+4i.

3. THEOREMS

THEOREM 1: Wowza numbers are equivalent to ordinary numbers.

PROOF: To make a wowza number from an ordinary number, prepend
the word "wowza" to the number.  To convert a wowza number
to an ordinary number, remove the word "wowza."  Thus there is a
1-1 mapping from numbers to wowza numbers, proving their
equivalence. []

THEOREM 2: Wowza numbers are one of the greatest advances of
mathematics.

PROOF: Numbers are clearly one of the greatest advances of
mathematics.  By theorem 1, wowza numbers are equivalent to
numbers.  Therefore, wowza numbers are one of the greatest
advances of mathematics. []

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